Ghostly Madam Seeks Naughty Teens?

So, there's a fairly new urban legend popping up in that Venn Diagram where horny teenagers and the supernaturally aware intersect (which thanks to shows like The Vampire Diaries and Twilight is a pretty big intersection).

If talk of sex makes you uncomfortable, look away. Maybe go here instead. For the rest of you, who don't get squeamish about that sort of thing because this is New Orleans and it's part of our history (and part of our city's favorite holiday season), the legend is as follows.

If you have sex at Mahogany Hall, the ghost of Lulu White will show up and take you to the glory days of Mahogany Hall, back when it was the biggest, most successful brothel in the U.S.'s only legal red-light district back before it was demolished in the 1940s.

Oh, you don't know about Miss Lulu White and Mahogany Hall? It was a four story/five parlor/fifteen bedroom brothel made of marble, staffing as many as forty mixed race women, right at the heart of the District, or Storyville as it was unofficially called. Miss White was a savvy business woman who made a fortune servicing the, erm, needs of the men of New Orleans.

She even almost owned most of Hollywood. When public approval of Storyville's unapologetic prostitution industry started to turn unfavorable, she sent someone out west with $100,000 to buy up a lot of the land down there. Turns out, that guy wasn't trustworthy and he scampered off with her cash, but had he done as she asked, she'd have been not only the Madame of New Orleans, but the Queen of SoCal. She didn't die penniless, but she definitely lost a lot of her financial stability with that swindle. Fortunately she had friends she could rely on from her glory days to keep her from falling to total ruin and she passed away in relative comfort.

That's where the rumor comes in. She was happiest in the good old days when she could openly run a successful brothel, even publishing tourist guides to let newcomers to the city know where to find her, who her girls were (with photographs!), and what their rates were. Then when people got squirrely about sex again, her life took a decline it never recovered from. Her ghost, they say, is looking to recapture the spirit of the old days by seeking out like-minded individuals. People who aren't embarrassed or ashamed to get busy and have fun, nasty fun.

I haven't met anyone who knows someone directly who has been taken to the old Mahogany Hall. It's all been someone knows someone who knows someone who knows someone. As such, I haven't heard a clear story about whether you're whisked off for a night of fornication, or if she takes you to the brothel to spend the rest of eternity (possibly dead) surrounded by ghostly prostitutes.

I told my girlfriend about this (you remember my girlfriend, right?) and she suggested we find out the old fashioned way, wink wink nudge nudge say no more say no more. I'll admit I was tempted, but the fact is, I had to tell her that while I would love to practice summoning that ghost, if you get my drift, I'm not sure I want to spend forever surrounded by ghost prostitutes. I mean, who even has that much money?

I kid, of course. Even so, I'm not summoning any ghosts if I don't have to. That's how horror movies start.

If you've heard the rumors, though, or some variation of 'em or know someone who did the deed, share what you've heard in the comments. Maybe we can get to the truth of this new legend.

Until next time,

Stay Strange!
-Steve

An Apology for My Absence and An Observation on Many Absences

Hey Strangers!

I know it's been a long time since I've updated, and for that I apologize. I've been away, leaving you in the dark regarding all things that lurk in the dark, and that's not right. I apologize for that to.

The truth is, since that strange night about a year ago with all the ice all over St. Louis Cathedral (and those busted doors that I maintain no human could have made: see my post on an abominable snowman attack from last year), New Orleans hasn't been quite as strange. I mean, sure there's been crazy stuff, but not as much.

Also, I've been on dates with a girl and that's been keeping me busy too. She's cool and I've done all the tests. Not a vampire, not a werewolf, not a ghost. None of that madness. Just a cool lady who recognizes talent when she sees it.

Unlike those hacks at the SyFy network who sent me an e-mail saying they were interested in doing a show based on my blog, and then when I e-mail them they act like they've never heard of me. Jerks.

But then, THEN things started getting weird again. Missing persons on the rise, but here's the strange part. So are homelessness and John/Jane Doe cases. And I mean, crazy people John/Jane Does. A lot of them don't even know what year it is. Some don't even know what century it is.

You want to know what I think? Of course you do. Otherwise you wouldn't be reading my blog. I think the ghosts of the dead are rising up and possessing people. The possession changes their appearances in subtle ways and that's why no one recognizes these John and Jane Does. It's also why a lot of them talk like it's still the 1800s and say crazy things like, "Dear heavens! What invisible devil is pulling that carriage?" The ghosts don't know what they've missed, see?

So why are all of the dead rising up and possessing people? Unrest. That's my theory. Ghosts are driven by unfinished business, which is fueled by unresolved emotions. I'm sure you've noticed people all over the US have a lot of emotional baggage they aren't really resolving too well. The excess emotion welling up is attracting the ghosts who feed on emotion to help them fuel their quest to resolve things that went unsaid (and I know a lot of people these days have a lot they are thinking and not saying, you know what I'm saying?)

In other words, we're so angry lately and it keeps building and building unresolved, and it's like we put out ghost bait who, being fueled by unresolved emotions, are drawn to us, and are jumping into bodies left and right, probably on promises of doing whatever it is that we keep not doing because... whatever.

That's my theory. What do you guys think is causing all the missing persons and the strange vagrants?

Share your theories in the comments!
Stay Strange,
-Steve